Song Play for This Post
I’m 36 now, and I’m writing about it because the number 36 has always felt special to me. Lorelei my eldest daughter, was born at 9:36 p.m. and I’ve never forgotten how important that felt, even without knowing why. It just felt big. Every time I see the number now, I see her sweet newborn face looking up at me from the crook of my arm. 9:36 p.m. — the moment I became a mother to a living, breathing human being created within my sacred womb. Each number divisible by three. A divine numerology bestowed upon thee…
I was born on my mom’s birthday — January 20th is the date — and on that day she was checked into the same hospital room that she herself was born in. Room number 22, my very lucky number. She had been 22 throughout her entire pregnancy with me, turning 23 just as I was ready for emergence. I was also born at 22 minutes of Aquarius, just on the cusp of the Capricorn/Aquarius shift. Clearly this is all confirmation that, yes, 22 is my very, very lucky number.
Last Monday, my mom came over to my house to celebrate our birthdays alongside my grandmother, my husband’s mother, her husband, my sister’s family (her father-in-law was also celebrating his January 20th birthday), and many of the friends I’ve made and loved over the years as a homeschooling doula and birthkeeper. Such a lifestyle leads to very intimate relationships, and it is this intimacy that I wanted to honor in the form of a housewarming birthday party.
What was initially supposed to be a day of gardening together evolved into somewhat of a mini family-style rager. Luckily there was an incredible amount of fresh, delicious food contributed to the gathering, and I was gifted lovely rose bushes, succulents, and groundcover blooms that I can’t wait to get to know. While watching all of the beautiful children running wild around the grounds of our property, I was overcome by the sense of satisfaction one feels when their creation is essentially complete and the high frequency of love flows through and beyond it, stretching out into the All that makes us One. If there’s anything I’m addicted to — it’s this feeling.
The generosity and love that I received that day was next level. I quite honestly didn’t know how to accept it all at once, especially since I’ve never had such a large, inclusive party before (no, not even for my wedding), and subsequently spent the rest of the post-party night overwhelmed by the feeling that I didn’t provide enough for my guests in return. I was so distraught, in fact, that I did six pages worth of journaling to process my feelings between the hours of 4 and 6 a.m.!
Since that midnight humble-sesh, I’ve been assured that I provided plenty, and thus I know that it was simply the feeling of expansion that was throwing off my ability to rest easy. People were happy to be given a place to connect with others that they have so much in common with, and to be fed, and to be held in an environment that wants not much more than to do the holding and be appreciated. It really was a lovely time.
That day confirmed in the physical realm that my prayers for abundance, community, health, nature, peace, safety, and true love have been continually answered, and my environment has finally reached the minimum capacity needed to support it. Of course, it wasn’t only my prayers. My husband and children also prayed, as did my friends, my family, and anyone else who heard about the unbelievable home-based spiritual battle I was experiencing over the last few years. It was a true light vs. dark situation, and the light won.
I never doubted that it would.
It won so obviously, in fact, that my new zip code ends in the number 22, my very, very, very lucky number. There is also a nativity sticker on the inside of the garage door here at the new house that caught my eye the very first day we came to tour it. “Keep the Christ in Christmas,” it says. “You got it,” I answered. The sticker remains, and I’ve since bonded with our landlady over our shared connection with Mary and our commitment to prayer.
Considering Mary is my main muse and I have a decent nativity collection building (hence the sticker synchronicity), I have full faith that the Mary magnetism played a massive role in getting us to this place of humble sanctity. I paid close attention to every sign that reassured me I was on the right path, and held strong in the vision I had for the home I knew my family needed. It was an exercise in faithful observation and divine communication, and I look forward to sharing more about how I surrendered to such a miraculous state of trust.
Join me in circle tomorrow, Sunday the 26th, to dive deeper into the concept of faith over fear. Together we will discuss how to consistently negate all fearful mindthoughts and stories that only serve to keep us rooted where we don’t wish to be. We will then write prayers that nourish us with faithful poetics, read them out loud, and prepare to very much enjoy the rest of the fearless week to follow.
If you’d like to learn more about my Prayer Writing Circles, read this post:
Tomorrow’s circle is free and open to all; I hope to see you there. The link to join will meet your inbox in the morning.
With love,
Kaitlin
Happy birthday 💙